Learning to Live with Grief: 6 Helpful Insights for Navigating Loss

When we lose someone or something deeply important to us, grief can feel like a confusing, painful, and at times isolating experience. Many people feel pressure to ‘move on’ or ‘get over it’—but the truth is, grief doesn’t follow a neat timeline. It is a personal, winding process that touches every part of us: emotionally, mentally, physically, and even spiritually.

If you’re grieving, or supporting someone who is, it might help to know that grief isn’t about forgetting or closing a chapter. It’s about learning how to live with the presence of loss in a way that also makes space for life, meaning, and connection again. According to grief expert David Kessler, there are six practices that can support healing and growth through grief. These approaches remind us that while loss changes us, it can also open new pathways for meaning and connection.

1. There is Grace in Denial

In the early days of loss, you might feel numb, detached, or even disconnected from the reality of what has happened. This is not because you are avoiding the truth—it’s because your mind and body are protecting you from the full weight of the loss all at once. Denial, in this sense, is a kindness. It lets in only what you can bear at the time, creating a psychological buffer so you can begin to adapt gradually (Worden, 2018).

There is no need to rush towards ‘acceptance.’ Trust that your mind and emotions will open up when you’re ready to process more. Think of grief as coming in waves—sometimes intense, sometimes gentle. Both are part of the same ocean.

2. You Are Not Broken – Grief is a Natural Response to Loss

One of the biggest misconceptions about grief is the idea that it needs to be ‘fixed’ or that you should somehow get ‘back to normal.’ But grief is not a problem to be solved. It is a natural response to love, connection, and attachment (Shear, 2015). When we lose someone we love, it makes sense that our whole being reacts.

People who allow themselves to grieve—without rushing, suppressing, or feeling ashamed—often find that they emerge with a deeper sense of resilience. Living well after loss doesn’t mean being happy all the time or forgetting your loved one. It means learning how to carry your grief alongside moments of joy, connection, and even laughter again (Neimeyer, 2016).

3. Grief Exists to Help Heal the Pain

You might feel tempted to avoid grief because the pain feels unbearable. But what we’re often running from isn’t grief itself—it’s the intense emotional pain of the loss. In fact, grief is the natural healing process that allows us to transform that pain over time.

Suppressing grief can have negative impacts on emotional and physical health, including increased risks of depression and stress-related illness (Stroebe, Schut & Boerner, 2017). Instead, by leaning into grief—whether by talking about it, writing, creating, or seeking therapy—you create space for healing. This process enables you to reconnect with life in new and meaningful ways.

4. Grief Can Be a Time of Renewal and Rebuilding

While grief changes you, it can also open the door to growth. Even in the midst of sorrow, small new experiences—like trying a new recipe, listening to unfamiliar music, or exploring nature—can reignite a sense of curiosity about life.

These small steps are not about ‘moving on’ but about gently reminding yourself that life still has potential for beauty and connection, even while you grieve (Tedeschi & Calhoun, 2004). Therapists sometimes call this ‘post-traumatic growth’—the way we can discover new perspectives, strengths, or purposes as we navigate adversity.

5. Your Grief is Unique—Because Your Love was Unique

No two grief journeys are the same because the relationships we mourn are unique. The bond you had with the person or situation you’ve lost was special to you—so it makes sense that your grief would take its own shape and pace (Neimeyer, 2016).

Honouring this uniqueness can be comforting. Instead of comparing yourself to others or feeling like you should ‘be over it by now,’ try reconnecting with what your loved one or loss meant to you. Whether through memory, creativity, rituals, or quiet reflection, you can maintain a personal connection that evolves over time.

6. Meaning Will Come in Time—It Cannot Be Forced

Many people search for meaning after a significant loss: Why did this happen? What now? Yet, meaning is not something that can be rushed or manufactured. It often emerges slowly, as grief softens and your life starts to reshape itself around the absence (Frankl, 2004). Therapy and support groups can be valuable spaces to explore these questions gently. But even if you’re not sure of the answers yet, simply holding space for the possibility of future peace is enough for today.

Final Thoughts

If you are grieving, know that you don’t have to do it alone. Counselling or psychotherapy can provide a compassionate, non-judgemental space to explore your feelings, make sense of your experience, and find your way through the waves of grief.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve. But by embracing these insights, you can give yourself permission to heal in your own time, in your own way.

References

Frankl, V. E. (2004). Man’s Search for Meaning. London: Rider.

Kessler, D. (n.d.). 6 Practices for Grieving Clients Suffering from Loss. PESI UK. Available at: https://www.pesi.co.uk/blog/2021/march/6-practices-for-grieving-clients-suffering-from-loss (Accessed 13 July 2025).

Neimeyer, R. A. (2016). Techniques of Grief Therapy: Assessment and Intervention. New York: Routledge.

Shear, M. K. (2015). Complicated grief. New England Journal of Medicine, 372(2), 153-160.

Stroebe, M., Schut, H., & Boerner, K. (2017). Cautioning health-care professionals: Bereaved persons are misguided through the stages of grief. OMEGA - Journal of Death and Dying, 74(4), 455-473.

Tedeschi, R. G., & Calhoun, L. G. (2004). Posttraumatic growth: Conceptual foundations and empirical evidence. Psychological Inquiry, 15(1), 1-18.

Worden, J. W. (2018). Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy: A Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner (5th ed.). Springer Publishing Company.