Why You Might Feel Stuck in Therapy And Why That’s Okay

Melanie Rivera
Jun 16
3 min read

Exploring the role of Fears, Blocks, and Resistance (FBR) in the healing process

By Melanie Rivera, Integrative Psychotherapist (MBACP)

It’s one of the most disorienting experiences in the therapy journey:

you’ve made a start, felt some initial shifts, and then… something stalls.

You find yourself looping around the same material, emotionally flat, or even questioning if therapy is “working” at all.

If this sounds familiar, let me reassure you—you’re not doing anything wrong. Feeling stuck in therapy is not unusual, and it’s not a sign of failure.

In fact, it’s often a doorway to deeper, more meaningful change.

Therapy isn’t linear—because healing isn’t linear

Popular ideas about self-development often emphasise progress and breakthroughs. But emotional healing rarely follows a straight path.

Therapy is a relationship—one that ebbs and flows, like any other meaningful connection. It includes moments of insight and momentum, but also times of stillness, discomfort, and even withdrawal. These moments can feel confusing, especially when the early work felt energising or revelatory.

Yet, as Safran and Muran (2000) describe in their relational model of the therapeutic alliance, “ruptures” or slowdowns in therapy can be productive points of reflection. They’re not detours, but part of the road itself.

Understanding “stuckness”- Fears, Blocks, and Resistance

From a Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) perspective, what many experience as “stuckness” may in fact be a form of Fears, Blocks, and Resistance (FBR)—protective mechanisms that arise in response to perceived emotional risk (Gilbert, 2010).

Here’s how they can show up:

Fears of being overwhelmed, judged, misunderstood, or emotionally unsafe
Blocks in the form of emotional numbness, blanking out, or distancing from the work
Resistance through subtle avoidance, doubt, or ambivalence about change—even if change is desired

Importantly, these patterns are not flaws or failings—they are adaptive.

Often shaped by earlier relational wounds or trauma, they act as emotional “brakes,” slowing things down when your system senses danger, even in a safe therapeutic space.

Signs you may be experiencing FBR

You might notice:

Feeling emotionally flat or disconnected in sessions
Circling around the same themes without movement
Missing or avoiding appointments
Comparing your progress to others
Thinking “I should be further along by now”
Feeling confused, restless, or impatient with the pace of therapy

These responses are common—and they often occur just as the therapy is approaching something emotionally significant.

The role of the therapist: Working gently with resistance

Therapists trained in integrative, trauma-informed, or compassion-based models are familiar with FBR and the subtle ways it can show up. Far from being a barrier to progress, these moments are often where the most delicate and transformative work begins.

Supportive interventions may include:

Resourcing – strengthening your inner sense of safety through breathwork, grounding techniques, or imagery
Pacing – slowing the work to ensure emotional tolerance and integration
Holding – allowing space for reflection, “not knowing,” or even stillness
Immediacy – gently noticing when protectiveness is present in the room and naming it with compassion
Exploring secondary gain – with sensitivity, considering what role the resistance might be playing (e.g. safety, self-protection)

Done well, this process is not about pushing through resistance—but rather welcoming it as a meaningful communicator.

Reframing stuckness: A sign of readiness?

Therapy can feel hardest just before the most profound shifts begin.

Pauses, doubt, even moments of emotional discomfort may be part of your psyche preparing for deeper integration. As Gilbert (2009) notes, the threat system in the brain often activates in response to vulnerability, even in safe settings. If you’ve been hurt in the past, opening up—especially in consistent relational space—may feel risky.

But stuckness is not a signal to quit. It’s often a signal to soften, slow down, and tune into what your internal world needs next.